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Surrogate 101: Pregnancy, Delivery and Beyond the Journey

I’m Meriel, one of the Journey Coordinators at Collective Surrogacy, and I am a three-time past surrogate. This is perhaps the entry I most anticipated writing, as well as the one probably any surrogate and intended parent is most excited to read. In this installment of our Surrogate 101 series, I will cover pregnancy, delivery, and what happens after the journey is completed. 


Family standing on a battleship
My1st surrogate journey

After a heartbeat is confirmed, it will be very similar to other pregnancies the surrogate has experienced. They will attend their OB appointments and follow their advice and instructions. Their intended parents may attend appointments, virtually or in person. Many surrogates keep journals or use pregnancy tracking apps to keep their intended parents involved in the pregnancy as much as possible.


I mentioned in a previous entry that I had 3 failed transfers with my first intended parents. After a year had passed and I felt ready to try again, my first transfer with my second set of intended parents ended in another outright failure. I had to remain hopeful and tell myself that this was a different journey and to stay positive. My second transfer went beautifully, resulting in a picture-perfect pregnancy from start to finish. 


With my third family, I steeled myself for the journey ahead and was hopeful but tried to remain realistic that it might not take the first time. I was shocked when our first transfer resulted in a pregnancy. However, when I was 6 weeks pregnant I experienced a fairly significant bleed and was diagnosed with a subchorionic hemorrhage. I was asked to rest and wait. Luckily, the hemorrhage resolved and the pregnancy continued as planned.


At the time I was living in Hawaii, and two weeks after that scare, we were awoken with an emergency alert telling us that there was an inbound missile heading in our direction and to seek shelter. Try calling and telling your intended parents this news! Thankfully it was a false alarm, but life is unpredictable, the same as pregnancy can be! It's so helpful to have a trusted agency by your side and to have someone who understands what you are going through. Our surrogates and parents receive that support from our wonderful team of CS Journey Coordinators each step of the way.


Three pictures of woman in hospital bed giving thumbs up
After all three of my surrogate deliveries. Different babies, same thumbs up!

Finally, the birth is the big moment everyone has been working towards for months and months - it's an incredible and unforgettable experience. We help the surrogate and parents to prepare for the birth experience in advance based on what each person is comfortable with (who will be in the delivery room, who holds baby first, who cuts the umbilical cord, what photography is allowed, pain management plan for the surrogate, etc.). I cannot describe the feeling of watching my intended parents hold their child for the first time. It is the culmination of a true labor of love. The intended parents will then get to take on the joys of parenthood (including those inevitable sleepless nights!) and the surrogate will get to rest, relax, and soak in the joys of the forever gift she has given.


We will continue to support everyone through postpartum and beyond. We ensure that all financial and legal matters are handled correctly, and we want you to rest assured that our team is here truly every step of the way, through whatever twists and turns may happen. We understand that this journey can be both emotionally and physically demanding, and we are dedicated to ensuring that you feel cared for and valued throughout the entire process. Your journey is not just a transaction; it's a shared experience filled with hope, joy, and profound significance.



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