Pregnancy Trimester Tips: A Guide for Carriers & Parents
Pregnancy is the much anticipated (and often long-awaited) phase of a surrogate journey between parents and surrogates. It is filled with milestones, emotions, and anticipation. While each experiences the pregnancy from a different perspective, both play an essential role in creating a healthy, positive, and connected pregnancy experience. Here are some helpful tips for each trimester to support everyone involved.
First Trimester (Weeks 1–13):
Building the Foundation
The first trimester often feels like a waiting game. Excitement at early positive results is often tempered with cautious optimism. Reaching the first heartbeat ultrasound is an especially exciting moment where optimism and hope begin to grow. Patience, calm, and a positive outlook are especially important through these early weeks.
Tips for Gestational Carriers
Prioritize rest and listen to your body. Fatigue during the first trimester is expected.
Stay on top of medications and appointments, following your clinic's instructions carefully.
Keep your Journey Coordinator and Intended Parents updated after appointments.
Side effects from fertility medications and embryo implantation are completely normal. Reporting these to your Journey Coordinator and fertility clinic will help ease your mind that all is on track.
Give yourself grace and communicate your needs.
Tips for Intended Parents
Celebrate each milestone while recognizing that the first trimester can feel emotionally vulnerable.
Check in with your gestational carrier with supportive messages but remember she may not always have the energy to respond immediately.
Ask questions and stay connected with your GC and Journey Coordinator.
Trust the process and lean on your support system during the waiting periods.
Set expectations with your support system who is aware of your journey. You may wish to wait to share updates until closer to the end of the first trimester to preserve your emotional energy.
Second Trimester (Weeks 14–27): Growing Excitement
In a surrogacy journey, the first half of the second trimester may continue to feel uncertain for intended parents as they are awaiting results about baby's health and navigating the pregnancy often virtually from a distance. After a healthy 20-week ultrasound, this uncertainty often quickly shifts into excitement and eager planning for baby's arrival.
For the GC, the first part of second trimester may feel different than her own pregnancies, which likely focused on exciting milestones like a growing belly and finding out the baby's gender. The GC in a surrogate pregnancy often acts as a liaison between the parents and her providers as the parents seek to learn about the health of the pregnancy and baby. The GC plays a special role in this phase. Her open facilitation between the parents and doctor can transform a period of angst for parents into one where the parents feel welcome, supported, and reassured.
Tips for Gestational Carriers
Continue staying active if approved by your provider.
Drink plenty of water and maintain healthy nutrition.
Keep documenting appointments and sharing updates with your Journey Coordinator and the parents.
Know that your facilitation in getting the parents' questions answered will be hugely impactful to the parents feeling connected the pregnancy and reassured that all is healthy and on track.
Begin discussing birth preferences and delivery logistics with your Intended Parents as you reach the end of the second trimester.
Tips for Intended Parents
Attend the first appointment with the GC's primary prenatal provider, either in person or virtually. Knowing the provider, understanding how to get your questions answered, and learning about the prenatal exam schedule are hugely beneficial as you enter the second trimester.
If possible, consider attending the anatomy scan.
Celebrate milestones together - hearing baby's heartbeat, receiving bump photos, and other exciting updates the GC shares.
Following the pregnancy on a pregnancy app is fun and informative - from learning the size of your growing baby to understanding what symptoms your GC may be experiencing.
Small gestures of appreciation to your GC (a thoughtful note, flowers, or a care package) to show your gratitude 🫶
Continue open communication while respecting your gestational carrier's daily routine and family life.
Third Trimester (Weeks 28–Delivery):
Preparing to Meet Baby!
The finish line is in sight! This trimester is filled with preparation, anticipation, and final planning.
Tips for Gestational Carriers
Rest whenever possible and don't hesitate to ask for help when needed.
Stay mindful of fetal movement and promptly report any concerns to your provider.
Finalize your hospital bag and birth plan.
Continue attending prenatal appointments and keeping everyone informed of any updates.
Tips for Intended Parents
Finalize travel plans and hospital logistics well before delivery.
Make sure newborn essentials are ready for baby's arrival.
Discuss expectations for delivery day with your gestational carrier and care team.
Remember that flexibility is important 😊 births don't always go exactly according to plan.
Tips for Both Throughout the Journey
Communicate Openly
Honest, respectful communication helps build trust and keeps everyone feeling connected throughout the pregnancy.
Show Appreciation
Whether it's a simple text after an appointment or a thoughtful gesture during pregnancy, expressions of gratitude strengthen the relationship.
Trust Your Team
Your agency, medical providers, attorneys, and support professionals are there to guide you through every stage. Don't hesitate to ask questions or seek support.
Celebrate the Milestones
From the first heartbeat to the anatomy scan, baby showers, viability, and delivery day, every milestone deserves to be celebrated together.
The Heart of the Journey 💖
Surrogacy is much more than a pregnancy, it's a partnership built on trust, compassion, and a shared dream of bringing a child into the world.
While gestational carriers and intended parents each experience the journey differently, they are united by one common purpose: helping a family grow. By approaching each trimester with patience, empathy, and open communication, everyone can create a positive and meaningful experience that will be remembered for years to come.
At Collective Surrogacy, we're honored to walk alongside our gestational carriers and intended parents through every milestone! Together, we're building families, one journey at a time.
Comments