Addressing Partners' and Families' Questions
- meriel66
- May 2
- 4 min read
The decision to become a surrogate is a significant and rewarding choice, not just for the surrogate but also for her partner and family. Naturally, this journey brings about many questions and concerns. Here, we address some potential questions that partners and families of surrogates might have and add some personal answers from our own partners and family members.
What Did You Think When Your Partner First Mentioned Surrogacy Might Be for Her?
When your partner first brings up the idea of surrogacy, it can be a lot to process:
Initial Shock: It’s common to feel surprised or unsure about what surrogacy entails.
Pride and Admiration: Many partners feel a sense of pride in their loved one's selflessness and desire to help others.
Need for Information: A strong desire to understand the process, implications, and how to best support your partner moving forward.
What Questions Did You Have When Surrogacy Was Brought Up?
When the idea of surrogacy is first introduced, it's normal for partners and family members to have numerous questions:
Are there going to be any ties genetically to the baby? No, in gestational surrogacy the surrogate has no genetic ties as the embryo is created with eggs and sperm from the intended parents and sometimes donors.
What happens if the parents decided they didn’t want the baby or something happens to them while she was pregnant? Intended parents have dreamed about becoming parents for a very long time and invested both emotionally and financially into their journey to parenthood and therefore the babies are deeply wanted. If there was a catastrophic event, the intended parents designate guardians for the baby during the legal process.
What support would the surrogate have throughout her journey? Outside of her personal support, at Collective Surrogacy we have dedicated journey coordinators who support our gestational carriers from the first inquiry to beyond delivery. She will also have the support of her attorney and medical providers, all of whom she gets to choose.
What Were Your Biggest Concerns or Fears in the Journey?
Surrogacy is an emotional journey filled with highs and lows. Common concerns might include:
Health Risks: Concerns about the physical health and well-being of the surrogate during and after the pregnancy are completely normal. Surrogates complete a thorough medical screening process before being medically cleared to pursue surrogacy. Surrogate pregnancies are followed closely by a number of medical staff along the way to ensure the surrogates health remains at the forefront of the journey.
Emotional Impact: Worries about the emotional toll on the surrogate and the family, particularly around the bond with the baby. Most surrogates do not feel a maternal bond with the baby they are carrying, as it is not genetically linked to themselves and the bond they develop with their intended parents often leaves them excited to see the baby join their parents. If there is ever a need for further emotional support the surrogate can lean on their coordinator, who is a prior surrogate themselves and always have the option to pursue counseling with a mental health professional.
Legal and Financial Considerations: Questions about legal protections and financial stability are important throughout the surrogacy process. All surrogates will have the opportunity to choose their own legal representation during the contract phase of the journey. This professional guidance ensures that all legal and financial considerations are carefully addressed, providing protection for everyone involved.
What Has Been Your Favorite Part of the Journey?
Despite the challenges, surrogacy brings many rewarding moments:
Creating Joy: The greatest joy is often knowing that you're helping to create a family for someone who cannot do so on their own.
Building Connections: The bond formed with the intended parents can be incredibly fulfilling and inspiring.
Personal Growth: Witnessing your partner's strength and compassion can deepen your admiration and love for them.
How Did You or How Are You Supporting Your Partner on This Journey?
Supporting a surrogate partner is crucial for a successful journey:
Emotional Support: Being there to listen, comfort, and encourage your partner through emotional ups and downs.
Practical Support: Helping with household chores, attending medical appointments, and managing logistics to reduce stress.
Communication: Keeping open lines of communication to understand and address your partner’s needs and concerns.
Final Thoughts
The surrogacy journey is a remarkable and unique experience that brings about a range of emotions for everyone involved. Partners and families play a crucial role in supporting the surrogate through the process. By addressing common questions and concerns, staying informed, and maintaining open communication, partners can help ensure a smooth and positive surrogacy journey. Remember, every question and concern is valid, and seeking information and support is key to navigating this incredible journey together. At Collective Surrogacy, no question is off limits and we're happy to help answer and navigate any questions your partners and families may have! If you have more questions and would like to chat with an experienced coordinator, please click the button below!